Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I danced myself right out the womb

I will never have confidence in my ability to write books until I have finished writing the first one. Publishing is a secondary consideration, although of course I hope for that too. Unfortunately, this lack of confidence is really the main obstacle between me and the finished thing. Of course my health doesn’t help much, not much at all, especially in these late stages when progress is going to be slow anyway and I often need full concentration, far greater concentration than is required for rambling away on here. However, if I knew, if only I knew that this could be finished and it would be all right. Well, I would have a hell of a lot more stamina for it.

Soon, soon. Really soon.

Meanwhile, my alphabet cards for Tinker are a disaster. Went to a great deal of trouble to track down a great enough quantity of A3 white card at a reasonable price (as is very often the case, I looked in all the sensible places then I found the stuff on eBay). But my co-ordination… some days I can paint all right and other days I cannot colour-in. Unfortunately, until I have well and truly messed up some project or other, I don’t know what sort of day it is. Oh well, I think something can be salvaged.

Why is it that I am compelled to make so much stuff? Why can’t I just buy some alphabet cards for my niece or nephew? By the time I have bought the extra card I now need, it would probably have been cheaper and it’s not as if mine were ever going to be so fantastic.

Anyway, Rosemary is having an ultrasound scan on Thursday – in Hampshire the first scan they offer is at twenty weeks apparently. So hopefully by the end of this week I will be subjecting you to a blurry photograph of the famous foetus. I know you can’t wait. They might even be able to tell whether it is a he-tus or a she-tus, depending on its exhibitionist tendencies. This also means that Tinker is approximately half way between nothingness and somethingness.

You know foetuses cry in the womb, but because there’s no air, we can’t hear them? When I read this I wondered, what on Earth does a foetus have to cry about? It is safe and warm, has everything it needs in the way of food and drink and it doesn’t see anything scary. What’s more, it has always been there. They can hear things though, and apparently, the foetus will later remember music and voices it hears at this stage later on when it is a person. Adrian proposes to play it nothing but Bach, but I know Rosie is secretly subjecting it to Songs from The Musicals. Hmm yes, I have now answered my own question about what foetuses might have to cry about.

I don't think you want to know anything more about foetuses, do you? No? Okay. Do you want me to put another T-Rex song in your head? No? Fine, fine, please yourself. Weirdly enough, when Cosmic Dancer came to an end, the next song that randomly kicked in was Chapel of Love by the glorious Dixie Cups. You try getting that one out of your head. I know. I'm not proud.


BloggingMone said...

Well, not that I have ever written a novel, but I do have to write lengthy essay once in a while and I usually think I will never get them finished and it will all be rubbish in the end. My experience is that once you take the effort to actually come to an end, it is all well and I am sure you will be pleased with the result.
Little Tinker will love the Alphabet cards, I am sure. They are hand made and really unique. It is a much greater commitment than simple buying a set of cards. Maybe you should just take some time. I have never heard of a newborn baby, which was unhappy because there were no alphabet cards around. It will probably be OK to deliver them on his/her first birthday or so.
I was born on may 1st, Mayday, which is a holiday. Little me thought it would be a brilliant idea never having to go to school or to work on my birthday. Good, isn't it?

marmiteboy said...

But surely homemade alphabet cards will be far more treasured by Tinker when they get older. Especially when they have been made with so much love and care.

If you want advice on some good books for the little might, I'm your man. Lily's daughter Sybil (aged 5) has had me reading to her lots and lots so I know all about 'Hairy McClary' (quite brilliant), 'Dirty Bertie' (hilarious) and other assorted tomes.

BloggingMone said...

In case you want some more inspiration:

The alphabet is incomplete, probably to prevent people making copies.
Sorry, but I still can't put proper links in a comment...sigh!

The Goldfish said...

Thanks for your comments Marmite and Mone. I still have a good few months to work on the alphabet cards, but it is a fair point; babies don't tend to be overly traumatised by when these things actually arrive.

Yes, birthdays which are or very close to holidays do have their advantages. Tinker should be born in August so shouldn't have to go to school on his birthday.

The Goldfish said...

P.S Thanks for the link, Mone - they are beautiful. :-)