Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I am the screen, the blinding light, I'm the screen, I work at night

Today (Tuesday) has been a much better day. I feel better. I look miles better. I must admit to a morbid fascination with my ghastly appearance over the last few weeks. My self-portrait was not as far from the truth as you would like to believe. I am shocked by how white I have been and how blue bits of my face appear, like the shadows under my eyes. But today there is at least some red pigment in complexion, I am a less white shade of pale, less puffy too. My acne has calmed right down. Rare are the days when I am pleasantly surprised when I catch myself in the mirror. Today was such a day. I look like a member of the human race.

Unfortunately, I didn’t wake up until noon and then I slept on and off most of the afternoon. Thus at something past midnight I am totally disorientated and not at all ready for more sleep. However, I am fully and properly conscious. My headache has gone. My concentration leaves a lot to be desired and I have been flitting between activities. But I feel all right.

Sorry for being a right moaning-minny of late. I really don’t cope very well with this stuff. I have no grace whatsoever. Thanks again for all your support.

Update: All this having been said at 12:33am, it is now 1:15am and I need to sleep again. Ho hum. I still feel all right I am just shocked at my capacity for zeds.


marmiteboy said...

You don't have to apologise for moaning Goldfish. It's a good place for moaning and you're amongst friends. Moan all you like especially if it makes you feel better.

Good to see you're starting to feel more human again. Keep getting better.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you're recovering Goldfish, don't worry about the sleeping, look on it as being on a battery charger.

Gimpy Mumpy said...

Goldfish, I am glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery.

Last year about this time I remember being told that I looked like golum (from LoTRs)with a mangy brown furry animal perched on his head.

Keep on getting that beauty sleep and you'll feel back to your witty self in no time :)

Lady Bracknell said...

Lady Bracknell is fascinated by the Goldfish's ability to recognise the symptoms of her own ill-health in the mirror.

When poorly, Lady Bracknell has frequently examined her own reflection in the mirror for the physical manifestations of her extreme feebleness, but can never identify them. Not even when Boogaloo Dude has confirmed that she looks as white as a ghost.

Be that as it may (which, as she has no doubt the Goldfish is aware, is one of only two uses of the subjunctive mood in the English language), Lady Bracknell is much relieved that things are improving for her friend.

marmiteboy said...

Lady Bracknell makes a good point. Last yesr when I was ill I thought I looked okay but my mates all thought I looked shit. When I was starting to get back on the rails again I saw a picture that my Dad took of me and my niece and I hardly recognised myself. My mates and relatives were right I did look shit.

Ms Goldfish must be very aware of her health which is a very good thing because I imagine it means she does the right thing for herself.

The Goldfish said...

Well I guess I am a bit sensitive about how ill I look, a bit vain in that respect.

This is especially noticable as I make the effort to get dressed even if, as I am just now, I'm spending all day in/ on the bed. I am not a person who obsesses about her appearance generally, but I have a 'dignity' issue with it. And when I have somehow managed to wash my hair and put on clothes on the principle that if I look better I'll feel better and then look in the mirror and see that I look like a corpse in a ballgown (not that I habitually wear ballgowns, but you get the picture), it's often quite disheartening.