Yesterday I lost my last item of white clothing and have decided to give up wearing the colour altogether.
It was a bra. Odd proportions make bras quite expensive and it was still pristine; whiter than white. It is now mauve. Fortunately, the bathwater in which I was washing a number of delicate items of clothing was a very deep purple, so the colour is quite strong and pretty - it doesn't look like it got dyed accidentally. However, I now have three bras in different shades of purple. Who has three purple bras?
How the bra got in the bath with me, I'm not sure, but it is difficult to keep white bras white anyway. Over time, the colour dulls. Sometimes, they even pick up the colour of other clothes you're wearing. White is not a practical colour for human beings to dress in any circumstance. Other white clothes get stuff spilt on, or get stained by deordourant and all sorts. And they make underwear difficult because they are often almost see-through. What's more, it doesn't look good on pasty-faced Celts such as myself.
Goth acquaintances work with the strategy of wearing nothing but black so it all washes together and can all be machine-dyed together when the colour begins to fade. I can't go that far. Nor can I wear nothing but purple, the colour which I seem to wear more of than anything else for some reason. But I have had enough of white.