The Tesco delivery came early, before I was awake. [...] accepted it and put most of the stuff away. But when I came through to the kitchen, I found a carrier bag bulging with apples. I checked the receipt and realised that instead of ordering six apples, I had in fact ordered six kilograms of apples. Which is about eighteen pounds, or thirty-seven decently sized apples. And I'm the only one who eats apples.
"Didn't you notice?!" I demanded. "When these arrived didn't you think that this was an awful lot of apples for one person to eat in a week, especially considering all the other fruit we've got in?"
"Well yeah," he said, "but I assumed you felt a bit constipated."