tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post8880968466806896352..comments2024-01-26T10:20:37.836+00:00Comments on Diary of a Goldfish: Femininity and Feminism: A RambleThe Goldfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-37229475712347616442012-05-26T16:05:24.229+01:002012-05-26T16:05:24.229+01:00Thanks for your supportive reply Goldfish. There w...Thanks for your supportive reply Goldfish. There was a discussion about transgenderism and autism a few months ago after Simon Baron Cohen released his book "Zero Degrees of Empathy" (The Science of Evil, as it's called in the USA) and I published a lengthy review (bringing in his earlier book "The Essential Difference"). Baron-Cohen emphasises the idea of autism as the "extreme male brain"; I responded that his theory overlooks various features of autism that have no real gender association, including the physical and cognitive disabilities that often come with it and the fact that it often produces a lifestyle that isn't particularly male-typical. Lisa Harney, of Questioning Transphobia, <a href="http://www.questioningtransphobia.com/?p=3833" rel="nofollow">noted on her blog</a> that gender dysphoria, in both directions, was actually commoner among people with ASDs than the general population (it's in the comments, not the main entry). To avoid link-spamming your blog, my article on SBC's book is linked off Lisa's.<br /><br />In response to the "sexism cuts both ways" comment that, if I agreed with it, would sound like my agreeing with the so-called Men's Rights Activists ... I think it impacts on certain categories of men very negatively, men (and boys) with certain disabilities in particular. I also notice that any discussion of "male privilege", and the notorious "checklists" in particular, focus on the privileges enjoyed by dominant, middle-class males who are generally understood to be unencumbered by race or disability, and contrast it with the full spectrum of female experience. I am planning to write a blog post about that subject some time in the future.Matthew Smithhttp://www.blogistan.co.uk/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-31883941656266659022012-05-25T12:25:04.894+01:002012-05-25T12:25:04.894+01:00Part II: Trans and transsexual are two groupings t...Part II: Trans and transsexual are two groupings that seem mixed in such a way that what used to be 'bisexual until graduation' for some now seems to be 'trans until graduation' - a significant percentage (albiet still a very very small minority) which then does have say, an online persona, or who changes views or feels things are okay expressed in a different way. <br /><br />As you say, the status for those who undergo medical treatment which not only takes years, and is expensive (still around $40-80,000 for F-M, the largest growing group in late teens and twenties, and about $30-50,000 for M-F) - the studies which were archived at Press for Change show the follow up studies which, after 60 years of studies held solid with 98-99% satisfaction and life improvement in 5 and 10 year follow ups, to the 1% of regrets, while those earlier on, without some of the adjustments of the protocol, have a higher percentage. Unless someone is doing research or meta-research studies of the last 10 or 20 years, I would take what they say about satisfaction with a large salt dose as you point out, the 'exit' door is posted at every turn and most of the vocal 'I changed my mind' group turn out to have skipped steps like the 6-24 months with a gender specialist counsellor or the 1-2 years of real life living (I like the nun analogy as it seems to be similar, live the life, then decide to move on). <br /><br />I noticed that Lana, of the two siblings previously know as the W brothers, who made the matrix, came out under a year ago after it wall all done, and the years past, simply moving onward, not particularly notable on the femininity spectrum.<br /><br />As a blogger of a gender varient child, who was then thrown out of kindergarden, the mother from Nerdy Apple, whose child went as Daphnae from Scoobie Doo, said that if her daughter went as Batman, no one would have said a word - that's not quite true, as her daughter DID go as batman the next year and the word was 'cute'. I suppose a young boy is more likely to be thought of as gay than trans if engaging in cultural cross dressing, though early studies show ALL babies grab toward the softest and shiny fabrics like velvet and silk. And with Disney pushing 9 princesses and 1 pirate, there are a lot of boy princesses and quite a few girl pirates. Neither of which has much to do with femininity or masculinity for me - but then a gay couple to me has two masculine men, not one 'wife' and one 'man' - same with lesbians couples, though one woman might like to do more plumbing and DIY home repairs than the partner. <br /><br />But if you can find a definative answer, please let me know - as of yet, the only thing I have found is how useless feminism is at answering these issues, about as usefull as it was in 1976 by throwing out lesbians as 'unfemale' lest they drag down 'the movement' - if someone can define disability high femme versus low femme for me within feminism, or poverty level living high and low femme, then it might have relavence, but since my life is not like those on TV - and I don't have extra money even for leg razors or workers to shave for me, does my leg hair have anything to do with femininity? I hope not.<br /><br />I liked his 'I'll play ipad' and 'the wife' will earn money - haha. Which is why I've thought this century is the century where the flexibility and actualization of desires for females becomes realized and thus eclipses the limitations masculinity self imposes on itself.<br /><br />But thanks for writing a mental challenging piece.Elizabeth McClunghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03627373214555333537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-32350861061937263782012-05-25T12:24:52.264+01:002012-05-25T12:24:52.264+01:00Thank you for always bringing up the challenging t...Thank you for always bringing up the challenging topics.<br /><br />I have always viewed that feminine would be what is within the entire mathimatical subset bracket of what females do, individually or collectively, and masculine is the same for males.<br /><br />This is often rejected quite strongely by some, yet I think that the sticking point is the lack of adequate words, or enough of them.<br /><br />I think, for example, that to reject the trappings of the high feminism, is a common female pre-puberty until college grad experience enough to be in essense, part of the female, the feminine experience, and not 'an odd shaped man' (still sort of trying to process breasts at age 8). <br /><br />Also, even in a single society, what IS 'feminine' is considered so much up to debate, as in Wales, for lesbians, a female with shoulder length hair, jeans, men's shoes, and a t-shirt was femme, ultra feminine, while to most of the population, 'not particularly', and for many Christians and older women, 'unladylike' (while I simply don't believe that anyone who is female CAN be unladylike, and don't hand off my gender to some person writing books or articles like Emily Post to determine if I am or am not female or feminine). - at the same time, a straight male with a ponytail of long hair, and unshaved pits would be 'masculine' - even though the exact same for lesbians would be ultra feminine. Which is why I find, when so many variables like location, culture, background, family, and personal feeling determine how much on the femininity spectrum you feel yourself, who makes the rules.<br /><br />For F-M transsexuals, puberty is such a significant trauma that blockers are now common in some European countries and some states for early transitioners as you describe, but is also a state for those who do not want to become 'wife' material or have to go from being (self viewed) as free to the confines of clothing, deportment and all the expectations of being a 'young lady' (BLECH!).<br /><br />I personally feel that the acts of significance are individual, in some ways. The person who rarely leaves the house but wears lip gloss or make up - a self identity stand. <br /><br />In reverse, when such a high percentage of men practice transvestism (around 20%) for various reasons, I am hard pressed to say, 'that is obviously feminine', but rather a type of masculinity which is on a spectrum perhaps, in the same way the 'metrosexual' of 10 years ago, with pedi and mani and clear nail polish is now seen as 'feminine' - when enough hetero movie and sports stars were acting in this way to indicate is was not at all, or that they were not they icons for femininity but masculinity.Elizabeth McClunghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03627373214555333537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-65415823343573064002012-05-22T21:16:42.215+01:002012-05-22T21:16:42.215+01:00Hi Matthew,
Thanks for your comment and sharing ...Hi Matthew, <br /><br />Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience here. <br /><br />I'm so sorry that you had such a ghastly time as a child! I've known other men who had a hard time in the company of boys as children (some small, some gay, some bookish and unsporty), but they've generally described seeing the solution as becoming *more* masculine. They felt that if only they could "man up" - grow stronger, harder and more intimidating - they'd be okay. However, I can understand how your extreme experience made you feel that it would be better simply to be a woman instead.<br /><br />I imagine your experiences have put you in a very good position to understand how sexism cuts both ways! <br /><br />I think that it simply must be the case that *some* people transition for the wrong reasons - just as some of the people enter into all manner of life decisions on the wrong foot. However, transition isn't necessarily a surgical thing and when it is, it takes a very long time. I think of it a little like a close friend who became a nun; there were so many stages before she became a nun proper, spanning years, and at any time the women can withdraw before taking their final vows. But even when they've been through all that, and even when (as is often the case) becoming a nun has been a vocation since childhood, some later decide it's simply not for them.<br /><br />When I was younger and perhaps more radical, I had some sympathy with the argument that in some future genderless utopia, people may be able to be themselves, regardless of what's in their pants, and not be bothered all these labels. But that's not the way the world is now, and I don't believe that any movement for good is benefited by anyone being condemned to a miserable life on principle (not that trans gender people exactly get it easy when they are able to transition). <br /><br />Thanks again for your comment.The Goldfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-56125340906765804372012-05-22T15:11:20.601+01:002012-05-22T15:11:20.601+01:00This struck a chord with me on a lot of levels. I ...This struck a chord with me on a lot of levels. I went through a long phase of hating my own gender (in both senses of the word), as a result of being in a boarding school full of "disturbed" boys (who were allowed to run around and be thugs, while those of us who couldn't were expected to just put up with them), having come from a female-heavy extended family (my immediate family is two of each, but my Mum had four sisters and one brother and among the cousins, there were two girls and one boy, who was much younger than me, so I was very much the odd one out). There was a lot of sexual harassment (besides the rampant and public violence and the common use of foul and threatening language) and people used the word "woman" as an insult. I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and the problems that caused were what led to my being sent to the boarding school. I also had a huge complex about being a child - I hated not being able to make decisions for myself and having to do as I was told and accept adults' (often selfish) decisions, and resisted anything that reinforced my child status.<br /><br />To me, "normal" adults were female - my Mum, my aunts, most of my teachers before going away to that school; I found the company of boys and men at best uninteresting and at worst threatening. I wanted to be like the adults I most identified with. People talk about male power but to me, the power those women had over me was much more immediate than the fact that Parliament and most corporate boards are dominated by men (and most men I knew outside boarding school were not in jobs that gave them any power or political influence). There was no contradiction between femininity and power, as far as I could tell. To me, the females around me (when at home) had untroubled lives - they had friends (I didn't), the children appeared to find school easy, the adults either were in work or were at college, and none of them were being abused as I was.<br /><br />I know Julie Bindel has an agenda, but she has a point about the fact that some M-F transsexuals don't really want to be female - they want not to be the sort of man they are expected to be (of course, I know many really do, and from a very young age - much younger than I did). In my late teens, offered the chance of a transition, and if I knew it would be accepted by my family, I would have taken it in a heartbeat, but it's quite possible that I would have regretted it later. I remember feeling very envious of people I read of in news stories who were brought up as boys and then were discovered to be girls due to certain genetic conditions.<br /><br />About the rad-fems and transphobia, I've long noticed that their excuses for excluding trans women from all-female events they organise to be illogical and based on prejudice and generalisation (which they regard as acceptable for themselves because they are "oppressed") - for example, trans women were necessarily brought up as little princes while their sisters did all the washing-up for them, that sort of thing (not in my family), and have experience of "male privilege" (like being treated as a freak and beaten up in public with impunity), so their behaviour is likely to ruin the vibe at an all-women music festival. Someone posted a screenshot from a rad-fem forum on Twitter today which expressed the even more ridiculous view that all trans women (or SCAMs - Surgically and Chemically Altered Males) want to do is gain access to the women's "locker room" and the "harem", as if anyone would go to such lengths for that purpose? I don't know if it's really femininity they hate, or if it's the fact that they can't fathom why anyone would want to be female given that they feel so oppressed, or if it's just the "gatekeeper" mentality - they want to feel empowered and being able to exclude someone gives them that feeling.Matthew Smithhttp://www.blogistan.co.uk/blog/noreply@blogger.com