tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post2687875200110450659..comments2024-01-26T10:20:37.836+00:00Comments on Diary of a Goldfish: On Adults Living With Their ParentsThe Goldfishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-62998414173560288102012-10-30T11:47:30.091+00:002012-10-30T11:47:30.091+00:00Thanks Myrin. :-)
I think a lot of this comes dow...Thanks Myrin. :-)<br /><br />I think a lot of this comes down to the idea that all family relationships are the same and that they don't evolve. So for example, the idea that your mother is always your mother in the sense she was when you were quite small, that relationship could never evolve to become more like friendship (we're pretty bad on cross-generational friendships too - assuming that older friends will always be like parent-substitutes and younger friends fulfil some maternal or paternal role for us).<br /><br />Of course, some parents do get stuff in full time "parent mode", but not all, not by any means.<br /><br />You should certainly not feel ashamed of the living arrangements you have or want in the future - you certainly shouldn't feel ashamed for wishing to take care of and spend time with someone you love and enjoy being with, whoever they are.The Goldfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-44771998005801781902012-10-28T08:54:45.819+00:002012-10-28T08:54:45.819+00:00I really want to sign everything you've said h...I really want to sign everything you've said here, especially because I feel like you're being very fair while considering all the views people might have (contrary to many who just cry "Living at home? = NO LIFE!!!").<br /><br />I'm 21 and still live in a (rent) flat with my mum and my little sister. <br />This is partly due to financial reasons since I'm still a student at university (and likely will be one for a few years to come) and can only manage a part time job atm - so paying for the train to take me to uni is <i>way</i> cheaper than trying to rent something in the big and expensive city I study at.<br />However, I also really enjoy living with my family. I have a great relationship with both my mum and my sister and I try to help out as much as possible (especially since I'm a passionate cook and at least during the holidays I try to do most of the cooking) so as to not be a burden to my mother.<br /><br />I can very well imagine living with at least my mum (not because I don't want to live with my sister but because she's very independent and probably will move in with her boyfriend some day) even when I'm older. Partly because she already has multiple health issues and it's expected that she won't be able to walk properly sooner or later and I want to help her managing her life as much as possible (of course only if she wants me to) but also because she's a great person and I don't think I should be ashamed of wanting to live with her (even though here in Germany it's also frowned upon).Myrinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03593749883390634700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-28423501898715037512012-10-24T12:43:41.502+01:002012-10-24T12:43:41.502+01:00Alicia - it is odd. I think a lot of it may be eco...Alicia - it is odd. I think a lot of it may be economic - that, as I've said and Matthew has elaborated on, for people in their 50s and early 60s now, it was dead easy to get a mortgage on a house, at a very young age and on a relatively low wage. So it made more sense to that generation, and even since it's been seen as normal to get out as soon as possible.<br /><br />Matthew - this is true, and it was very much that generation. My grandparents all ended up owning their own home, and actually one Granny's parents owned theirs - but they were the only people on the street who did. Before then, people rented - as most people still do in many other countries, including those in Europe.<br /><br />Whereas my parents got a mortgage when they married at 21 and 22, in 1974, both in low paid jobs.<br /><br />I think part of the generational problem, is that that generation went on to think that their experience was normal. My sister lives in Hampshire and was paying a fortune in rent, and came under a lot of pressure from my folks to get a mortgage at exactly the wrong time (I mean, poor girl really did buy at the absolute *peak* of house prices). Because my parents think home-ownership is normal.<br /><br />I don't think it's fair to blame a generation for anything, but I do think that some members of our folks' generation who don't have a clue how easy they had it, money wise. My parents think they have had a lot of problems in life, with money and unemployment - and there were certainly times when they were seriously hard up. But they are richer now than their parents ever were and richer than their children are ever likely to be, and <i>still</i> they think they've never been adequately rewarded for all their hard work...The Goldfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-16139686049683387502012-10-24T00:20:53.265+01:002012-10-24T00:20:53.265+01:00In the UK, I think the older generation (now in th...In the UK, I think the older generation (now in their late 50s/early 60s) got lucky in terms of being able to find housing relatively cheaply at a time when jobs were plentiful. There was also a lot of council housing which hadn't become rundown as it has since the 1980s when the best stock was sold off. Since then, supply simply hasn't kept up with demand and London has become the preferred second home for the global super-rich, and this flow of wealth into London has pushed up house prices in the home counties where people also want holiday homes or a base for commuting. The upshot is that the younger generation can barely afford to get on the housing ladder because most of the jobs that are available do not pay enough. I'm still living with my parents myself, and my sister has moved out (she is married with one daughter), but she lives in a poky flat within smelling distance of a sewage and landfill site, the cost is nearly £200,000 and my parents have had to give them a lot of help with that.<br /><br />I find this has caused a lot of resentment, with some radio programmes dedicated to "debating" whether Baby Boomers are all to blame for the present generation's problems, because they're living in the houses their children need, they got free university education and now they've kicked away the ladder for the youth. I think that's unhelpful - many of them have adult children who are still partly dependent on them, particularly for housing, and the free education claim just isn't true for most. Many of them did, however, easily find employment - there was plenty of it then for all skill levels, which is certainly not the case now. I've had a few run-ins with certain relatives over how they've worked hard since they were 16, unlike me (that's because they were 16 in 1970, not 1993). But they got work easily; I never have done, even during the boom years and certainly not now.Matthew Smithhttp://www.blogistan.co.uk/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10557263.post-86113535582750027072012-10-20T18:49:55.224+01:002012-10-20T18:49:55.224+01:00This is so weird for me, in my country we are happ...This is so weird for me, in my country we are happy to share a house, is more economic, we are also okay in living alone but sometimes going to live alone before marriage is not recomended, it's a waste of money.<br />I only see this in awful american movies that want to show the greatest failure in someone life or lack of life and it sounds ridiculous but they are terrible movies, what's wrong with an adult living with their family?<br /><br />I assumed it couldn't be like that in real life.<br /><br />I found your post and Urocyon post great but I don't really understand this aspect of your countries.Alicianoreply@blogger.com